Firsts
by Santiva Potter
Summary: At an interview for the Daily Prophet, Lily is reminded who came first. One-shot


Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter

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Firsts

Summary: At an interview for the Daily Prophet, Lily is reminded who came first.

"_Lily wouldn't dare admit it in school but she knew that James wasn't a bad kisser, bloody best kisser next to Sirius, but how that happened is completely different story."_

—_Santiva Potter's The Beginning of Love_

It had all started when Lily stumbled to remember which one of her idols she met first**;** Grace Hammons, the auror who would have gotten her position had she not been discriminated against for her gender**,** or Austin Riley, her former boss before Moody influenced her to continue working as an Auror.

I was sitting across from Lily Evans-Potter, conducting an interview for the Daily Prophet's Community section. Evans had just been honored with the title as the first woman Co-Head Auror. It was starting up the quiet sexist quarrel, which earned her the front page in the section. However I wasn't the person who was supposed to be conducting this interview, but Stevenson was sick so someone had to take over. I think that's where things went downhill. Stevenson was sick, Marjorie (who was supposed to have filmed this interview) was sent on a mandatory News Break, and my photographer was out, so it would just be me and the Potter.

Well, both Potters actually. Her husband James Potter was scheduled to come along as well. James Potter, the same James Potter whom instead of following his parent's footsteps by becoming an Auror, ran away to Albania and took refugee there for several months. He had never spoken publicly about that so my editor was hoping I could sneak that in somewhere into my angle.

What bothered me most was the last minute call they had made. James' best friend was currently visiting their home and the couple, well Lily, could not find enough strength to leave him alone with her two month son, or leave them alone in their house for that matter. Something about mysterious noises and anonymous panty hoses. So not only were they bringing little baby Harry, also tagging along would be Harry's godfather**,** Sirius Black. Sirius Black the Womanizer, the perfect distraction.

"Now Lils, c'mon, you met Hammons first don't you remember?" Sirius had teased. "How can you forget? That's like forgetting your wedding date. You wouldn't shut up about Hammons for months, just like you wouldn't shut up about the damned wedding reception for months."

James chuckled as I frowned in confusion.

"Sirius is referring to the fact that Lily wouldn't shut up about all the issues with the damned wedding reception**,**" James clarified.

"From the food tasting funny, to the wine being flat and of course who can forget the infamous gay waitress who was flirting with James," Sirius added. I could see Lily's face turning a bit red.

"But Sirius**,** you aren't one to talk anyway. You can't remember half the things that happened when we were in school,l" James added, trying to defend his wife.

"Like what? I remember everything."

"Alicia Silverman."

Silence.

"Jane Browning."

Silence.

"Oh what about this one, this one's real easy**:** Teddy Flemming."

I didn't think that this Teddy Flemming was a girl and neither did Sirius, for his face twisted in horror with a purple puce like tint shading his face. Lily seemed to have gotten a kick out of that.

"This Teddy Flemming, she's not a she**,** is she?" I asked warily.

James laughter confirmed it as Lily spoke.

"No**,** Ms. Carmichael, Teddy Flemming was not a she. Oh c'mon Sirius" Lily smirked using the same teasing voice Sirius had sported just a few moment earlier. "Don't you remember your first kiss?"

"But the best part was," James added still chuckling, "He wasn't a he either." I raised an eyebrow.

"It was a he-she," Sirius had mumbled.

"A he-she?" I asked puzzled but comprehension dawned upon me. "A hermaphrodite, you mean? Teddy Flemming was a hermaphrodite!?"

My mouth hung in astonishment. I couldn't believe it! Who knew that Sirius was so…y'know… friendly.

"Yep it was good ol' Teddy Flemming that stripped Sirius here of his innocence," James laughed.

"You lost your virginity to Teddy Flemming!"

"No! Hell**,** no!" Sirius yelled in a helpless attempt to defend himself. "I lost my virginity to a GIRL! A GIRL! A LADY WITH A BLOODY VIGINA!"

Sirius' outburst caused James, Lily and I to collapse on the floor with laughter leaving poor baby Harry on top of the sofa with a rather distressed look upon his face and Sirius red in the face.

"Lily I'm surprised you find this so funny, considering who you're first kiss was," Sirius snapped.

All laughter died as we all looked at Sirius. James and I looked rather puzzled but Lily looked furious.

"Don't. You. Dare. Sirius."

"W-Who was Lily's first kiss?" I dared to ask. However no one answered but Sirius stood there smirking in all his glory. It didn't take long for the light bulb to laminate again.

"You! You kissed my wife — Lily. What the hell!?" James exploded.

Sirius then turned to me saying, "We were twelve and Lily was just recovering from a long night of pranks from Mr. Potter and yours truly, when she stumbled across," Sirius leaned close to my ear, Potter's argument faded in the background, "The kitchen."

I frowned back in displeasure. The kitchen. Everyone knew where the kitchen was. Why couldn't it have been any more exciting, the forbidden forest or even the Room of Requirement; anything other than the kitchen?

But Sirius only smirked at my frown. "I'm sure as you know many students knew how to get into the kitchens, and because of that many students knew where the stash was."

I frowned again. What was the stash? I'd never heard of it.

Sirius' grin grew at my confusion, in the corner of my eye I could see James ear peeking into our conversation.

"The stash, Ms. Carmichael**,** held all of Hogsmead's best liquor. Some of the liquor was dated back to be centuries years old. But back to the story after Lily was so depressed from her run in with a rather…well let's just say energized Peeves, James and myself, she retreated into the kitchens as a temporary safe haven where the house elves took pity on her. Now**,** none of the students told the house elves what was in the ancient bottles that came out of the stash and none of the house elves touched them, so when they brought her a glass she had no idea what she was getting herself into."

Sirius stood up from his hunched over position still carrying his smirk. "It was a special type of liquor, too. It was jinxed by some hormonal group of kids before us. I think nowadays they call it Harold's liquor."

I gasped. I knew what Harold's liquor was and so did any other male who wanted to use alcohol and witchcraft to help enhance his chances of getting laid.

"But don't worry. Lils didn't drink all of it. Just enough to attack anyone poor soul who could nourish her ferocious hunger for…"

"Anything with legs," I added before his well known vulgar tongue could finish the sentence.

Sirius smirked. "To put it lightly, yes. But —"

A whirlwind of ivory skin and a trail of raging red hair reeled into our conversation causing distress and fear to scar Sirius' face.

"If you think that by some chance of Merlin that you ever live to another day, Sirius Black you are sadly mistaken. I swear, once I'm done with James, I'm going to kill you!"

And just as quickly as she came, Lily whirled out the room as furiously has she had come.

I then turned to Sirius a small smirk on my face. I had no interview, no lead, and no subject.

"Well there goes a happy marriage," I teased. "I hope you're happy with yourself."

Sirius chuckled. "Are you kidding? It's only Tuesday. They're bound to get into at least three or four more fights before the week ends."

"Have they thought about couple's therapy?" Although I was mainly teasing the back of my mind was still contemplating the thought seriously.

"James and Lils are madly in love, nothing for you or your paper to worry about. However the idea —"

Sirius' grin grew as he approached me. There was a growing awareness that I shouldn't trust those smoldering eyes and that he shouldn't smell as good as he did.

His breath tickled my ears as he whispered, "The idea would make one man very rich."

I smirked. "Rich in what, per say, Mr. Black?"

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_The Next Day_

My boss frowned at me.

"So that's your excuse for why there's no Potter story."

I nodded.

My boss sighed heavily. "You know I have all rights to fire you on the spot, Carmichael."

I nodded again. I knew I shouldn't have covered for Stevenson that day.

"But I won't fire you even though I bet you even slept with him."

My head snapped up. I was thankful that I wasn't getting fired but I wasn't sure I clearly heard the last part. "Slept with who?"

"Black."

I dropped my head back down to shame. I'd have to give Evans one thing, he _was_ a good kisser. I stood up to take my exit. I was just at the door when my boss spoke again.

"So let me get this straight. No subject, no interview, no lead, no story. You're off the hook but, I'm bumping you down to Commitment section. Maybe that'll teach to screw around with my ex-boyfriends."

I froze, my hand covering my mouth. Slowly I turned back to my boss. She looked like a female. Her first name was Tamara. She had long curly black hair, breasts, gentle face and she PMSed like a female too. Yet her last name is Flemmings and didn't one of her friends come around the office calling her T-T-Te… holy shit.

"Oh dear Merlin, please tell me you are a she," I whispered.

My boss frowned and tilted down her glasses so we were eye to eye.

"Get. Out. Now."

Now there's a story to write about.

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A HUGE thank you goes out to my two lovely beta readers Selinnium and WriterRen! Thanks so much!

Please read and review!

Much Love,

Santiva Potter


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